First Epistle of Peter
EXHORTATIONS TO WIVES
Scripture Reading: 1 Peter 3:1 (KJV)
Having finished the exhortation to household slaves he now turns to wives, especially those with unsaved husbands. Next to slaves, they, as a class, perhaps had to suffer more than any other. Even today, many sisters in Christ with unsaved husbands have to suffer. Some have fallen under it and have discontinued attending services, going back into the world to be with their husbands. Others, in spite of severe persecution, have continued steadfast in the faith. These verses are written to help such Christian women and others not only to bear the suffering but if possible to win their husbands to Christ.
Obviously, it is not good for a saved person to marry an unsaved one. However, if a saved young woman marries an unsaved young man with the hope of winning him to Christ, she may be bitterly disappointed. One young woman did that and on her death bed was heard to whisper, "I have had fifty years of hell on earth". The Scripture very plainly says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers" (2 Cor. 6:14). No doubt this verse means more than marriage, but it certainly does include marriage. To marry an unsaved person is placing one in a serious situation and we should not expect God to fulfill our desires in such a case.
These dear women here mentioned by Peter, married while still unsaved and were saved later. To such, the Word holds out hope for the conversion of their husbands. Some of these thought that after they were saved they ought to leave their husbands. Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 7 that they should not do this, but that they should stay with them and try to win them for Christ. Of course, if the unsaved left them, they could not help that.
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands"
This subjection of the woman to her husband is taught in other places in the Scripture too. In Ephesians 5:22, we read, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord". In Ephesians 5 (vv. 23, 24) the subject is continued, likening subjection of the wife to the husband as unto subjection of the church to Christ. We also have teaching on this in 1 Corinthians 11:8-10 and 1 Timothy 2:11-14. Someone might say, "That is well and good when both are saved and the husband loves his wife but how about when the husband is unsaved and mean? Is she still to be in subjection to such?" Peter says, "Yes". That is part of the way to win them for Christ. They are to submit to everything within reason. Or course, if the husband seeks to force her into immoral practices or to give up her life for Christ then she could well refuse. Otherwise, in anything less than that, she should submit to him, even if he is cruel to her, as no doubt some are.
"to your own husbands"
The word "own" is quite strong in the original. It could be interpreted as "private" – "your private husbands". They were not to be subject to any other man in anyway or anything. They were to be subject first to the Lord, then to their husbands. There is an inclination for some women to listen too much to others. Some are especially inclined to look up to a servant of the Lord and to do just what he says. This has proved a snare to some.
"if any obey not the word"
This implies knowledge of the word but willfully rejecting it. There are some like that today. Perhaps they have gone to worship services and listened to the Gospel being preached and taught many times, but for various reasons have refused to submit to and obey the Lord Jesus Christ. The wife may be saved, but not the husband. On the other hand, perhaps the wife had often witnessed to him, but still he did not obey the Lord. Then the day comes when he would listen to it no more. In 2 Thessalonians 1:8, we read of those "that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ". They may believe many things about Christ, but they are not willing to believe in Him, by trusting and obeying Him.
"they also may without the word, be won by the conversation of the wives"
The wife can no longer get her husband to come to hear the Word of God, nor can she speak to him. What is she going to do? Give up? Oh, no, there is still a way that she may win her husband to Christ. She can live Christ before him. The word "conversation" as noted before, means more than just talk. It means the whole behavior. They will not listen to what their wife says, but they just might notice her wonderful behavior. And many a dear wife has won her husband to Christ just through godly behavior. Dear sister, married to an unsaved husband, if you want to win him for Christ, pay very close attention to these Scriptural exhortations. They may help you win your husband to yourself and to Christ.
This godly life is not only essential to a wife seeking to win her unsaved husband, but also to anyone seeking to win another for Christ. There is no testimony like the testimony of a changed, Godly life. It is far better to live Christ without ever saying a word, than to speak much and lead a godless life. Unbelievers are not likely to pay much attention to our testimony, if they witness inconsistencies. Sorry to say, many have been caused to stumble by the misbehavior of Christians. How terrible to hear, "Oh, does he go to that congregation? It can't amount to much if he goes there."
Scripture Reading: 1 Peter 3:2 (KJV)
These unsaved husbands may not be willing to listen, but they cannot help but observe. If they see things not right, it will surely become excuses for continuing disobedience. But, if they see in the wife a chaste behavior, pure, spotless, and unblamable, they cannot find ground for rejecting the Lord Jesus.
Purity of life is important to any Christian. A clean life brings glory to God, but impurity brings reproach. David did a shameful thing with Bathsheba. Nathan, the prophet says to him, "Because of this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme" (2 Sam.
12:14). A Christian’s impure act does exactly the same today. The higher place one has in the church the more reproach it brings. Impure acts also bring great reproach upon the congregation of Christians with which the sinner is associated. Some works for God have been utterly ruined by the sin of one of the leaders. Because of David's sin, the Lord permitted great trouble to come to his house. Shortly after this we read of Amnon's sin with Tamar, then Absalom's murder of Amnon, and then Absalom's rebellion and death. Poor David paid heavily for his impurity, as any Christian will.
"coupled with fear"
This does not mean that these wives were to be afraid of their husbands, nor of the Lord. "Fear" here means "to reverence". In Ephesians 5:33, we read, "and the wife see that she reverence her husband". If she is to be subject to her unsaved husband, as we read in verse 1 of this chapter, why she should not reverence him, too? Remember, this is the way to win him to Christ. She should fear to do anything impure or to needlessly displease him in any way.
She should not misrepresent the Lord or do things displeasing to Him. This, of course, should be true of every Christian. Remember, we are ambassadors for Christ and the world will judge Him by us. We must be careful not to leave with others a wrong impression of Him; also we need to be careful not to do things that will bring us into disfavor with our Lord.
Scripture Reading: 1 Peter 3:3 (KJV)
The subject is still the same – how saved women may win their unsaved husbands to Christ. This verse speaks of what will not help to win them. In those days, some women went to great length to win a husband as well as hold him. They would spend hours on their hair, building up elaborated braided knots. They would bedeck themselves with golden ornaments of all sorts – rings, bracelets and ornamental combs for the hair. Then the dress would be very flashy, gaudy, showy, sometimes costly and occasionally immodest. However, Christian wives were told not to do these things. By so doing they might attract their unsaved husbands to themselves and not the Lord.
In order to win their husbands to Christ, their attractions needed to be internal rather than external. The internal attractions are set forth in verse 4. This does not mean that they should not dress orderly, neat, and clean, but it does carry with it the meaning of not dressing worldly or flashy.
There has always been a tendency for women to dress up to attract men and it is no different today. Some have even gone further today than formerly. Today, emphasis is placed on sex appeal. Consequently, too many women are scantily dressed. As a result, sexual immorality and pornography is at a high level. Christian ladies should never forget that they are not of the world and should not be worldly in appearance.
We do not believe this verse teaches that it is wrong for a woman to wear jewelry. But it certainly is unbecoming a Christian lady to overdo it. It certainly does not help in winning an unsaved husband or any other unsaved to the Lord.
The word "apparel" in our verse does not mean just clothing, but rather costly, conspicuous clothing. A woman must dress, but the dress can be simple, neat and clean. Being dressed shabbily or carelessly does not commend her or the Lord. Also, this verse is not inferring that she should dress old-fashioned or ultra-plain. It is just as possible to be conspicuous in this way as to be overdressed. False humility will certainly have a repellant effect on the unsaved. A wife should not dress in such a way that her husband is ashamed of her. If she would please her husband and her Lord let her not be overdressed, underdressed or poorly dressed, but average dressed, so that her chief attraction is not her externals but her lovely Christian character.
Scripture Reading: 1 Peter 3:4 (KJV)
This verse explains the method a wife should use to make herself attractive and so win her unsaved husband to Christ. Verse 3 teaches that to simply dress one's self externally will not do it. The way is to demonstrate a lovely Christian character which is something from within. In other words, the life of Christ was to be lived before her husband.
"but let it be the hidden man of the heart"
This "hidden man of the heart" refers to the inner man or the new man received from the Lord. It is this inner man or character of one that really counts. External beauties are passing. A lady may be beautiful and wonderfully dressed and yet may not be a lovely woman internally.
A wise young man should look at the character of the young lady he seeks for a wife, rather than external looks. Is the young lady adorned with a lovely inner person or is it just external. It is well for a lady to remember that while men may look and even admire outward appearance and flatter her beauty, the Lord looks at the heart. Let us not be too occupied with outward things, but be zealous to develop the inner man of the heart. This is true for the man as well as the woman.
"in that which is not corruptible"
"Not corruptible" could be translated "immortal" or "imperishable". Fashions change. A dress may be beautiful now, but next year the style may change and it will become old-fashioned. It is hard to keep up with the times.
Beauty passes away, too. Years take their toll. One may be beautiful at twenty, but at forty it may be gone. At that time, you will no doubt need something else to attract your husband. There is nothing as attractive as the imperishable beauty of a meek and quiet spirit.
"even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit"
The three words, "even the ornament" have been inserted by the translators to make the sentence more easily understood by the English reader. Actually, the sentence is as easily understood without them.
The word "meek" has the sense of being mild in character. A meek person is one who does not stand up for his rights. The Lord Jesus says in Matthew 11:29, "For I am meek and lowly in heart." He certainly did not stand up for His rights. He meekly suffered many things at the hands of men. This is not weakness, but strength. The dear sisters to whom Peter writes may have had to endure many injustices at the hands of their unsaved husbands. How were they to take it? To fight back and raise an awful fuss? Not at all – take it meekly.
A meek one is mild or soft in one's affections and feelings, and not given to causing any kind of disturbance. Her husband was later saved and to this day is a preacher of the gospel on the West Coast.
The word "quiet" in the Greek comes from a word meaning "keeping one's seat". When there is any kind of a disturbance it is hard to keep one's seat. When one is derided, falsely accused or abused, it is hard to sit quiet. But beloved, this is the way to win others to Christ. It has worked in many cases. Slowly, the wicked husband becomes conscious of his guiltiness and this conviction leads him to feel his need of Christ and the day comes when he is gloriously saved.
"which is in the sight of God of great price"
And this is what really matters. Man may think this type of spirit of meekness and quietness is weakness, but the Lord values it as something of great price. Some of these dear sisters may never have been able to win their husbands for Christ, but if they manifested this character, they were well-pleasing to God.
Always remember that we are never out of God's sight and our aim should be not so much to be well-pleasing to man, but rather pleasing to God. We may never be able to win a soul to Christ, but we can speak well of God's Son and this will be well-pleasing to Him. We may never be able to win a soul to Christ, but we can live a Christ-like life in this world, and this, in God's sight, will be of great price.
Scripture Reading: 1 Peter 3:5, 6 (KJV)
Here the apostle goes back to the Old Testament for illustrations of the truth he has been presenting. This, the New Testament writers do constantly. Peter already has done it many times in this epistle. Sometimes folks say, "What is the Old Testament good for anyway?" Well, it is good for many things. Among others, it is God's picture book. There is practically no doctrine taught in the New Testament but what an illustration of it can be found in the Old. Wise is the preacher or teacher that uses it a good deal in this way.
"after this manner in the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God, adorned themselves"
"After this manner" refers back to verse 4. These holy who had a meek and quiet spirit and was in subjection to her husband. The original puts it in a form that would indicate that she habitually obeyed her husband. You may say, "It is easy for a woman to obey her husband when he is a real child of God and really loves his wife." That is certainly true and Abraham was a child of God and did love his wife. Yet for all that, he asked some hard things of her to which she might have strenuously objected.
When they left Canaan and came into Egypt, Abraham says to Sarah, "Behold now I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon: therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee that they shall say, This is his wife; and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive. Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister" (Gen. 12:11-13). It was wrong for Abraham to leave Canaan in the first place and certainly wrong for him to demand this of Sarah, but she obeyed. This almost got them into trouble, but the Lord intervened. It brought the rebuke of worldly Pharaoh down onto Abraham's head. It is awful when the world has to rebuke a child of God. You will notice there is not a word of rebuke for Sarah. She obeyed her husband, calling him lord. (Gen. 18:12).
There is great danger in these times of careers for women and woman-suffrage of the woman usurping a place over her husband, which the Lord would not approve. That which we read in Ephesians 5:23 is still true. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."
"whose daughters ye are"
"Daughters" would be better translated "children". "Whose children ye are", that is, children of Abraham and Sarah by faith. Abraham was the father of the faithful. Galatians, chapter 3, tells of Abraham's seed, showing that it primarily refers to Christ. God had made a promise to Abraham. "In thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed" (Gen. 22:18). This seed was Christ. In Galatians 3:9, we read, "So then they which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham." Then, in Galatians 3:29, "And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." Peter again agrees with Paul, "Whose daughters ye are".
"as long as ye do well"
This is qualified by two statements. The first, "as long as ye do well". Real faith in the Lord will make one like Abraham and Sarah. Sarah did well by obeying Abraham and any wife does well in obeying her husband. Of course, there might be cases where she could not obey him, as already explained in connection with verse 1 of this chapter. If he demanded immorality of her or a denial of Christ, this she could not do.
"and are not afraid with any amazement"
This is the second qualification for being a daughter of Abraham and Sarah. This is literally, "not afraid with any fluttering alarm". While a wife is to be in subjection to her husband, it does not mean she should be afraid of him. Sometimes, unsaved husbands demand things that a saved wife cannot conscientiously do. Sometimes it is necessary to take a firm stand, showing no fear.
